


God Screamed

by samalambis



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Crack, Humour, M/M, i swear man, just crack, the crackiest crack to ever crack the raking crack, total friggen crack man
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-05-02
Updated: 2015-05-08
Packaged: 2018-01-21 15:03:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 740
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1554602
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/samalambis/pseuds/samalambis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean watched as Sam walked towards him, a hunter like gaze in his eyes. No, wait. It was just the lighting.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> me and my sister should never write together at four am

Dean watched as Sam walked towards him, a hunter like gaze in his eyes. No, wait. It was just the lighting.

"Dean." He said, his voice sounding like his vocal cords had been pulled out, thrown in a grinder, put in the mouth of a gut, swallowed and digested, shat out and spat on by a politicion living in Jersey, run over by a truck on a gravel road that really needs to be regravelised but no one cares enough to do it so they just let the cars pop their expensive tires on sharp stones and pot holes, then getting put on the frying pan for some red necks meal then out back inside his long, tanned, elegant throat.

In other words, it was sexy.

"Sammy." Dean said, his voice like a mouses. Not that anyone knows what a mouse sounds like, but its the thought that counts. 

Dean was adorable. Sam thought so. With his drinking habits and habit of having sex with random woman on the street after a terrible sibling fight and hating his father but having an unhealthy respect for him even until he died sacrificing himself to his children who he physically and physcologically abused while denying and burying all of his terrible secrets and covering it with a 'im a mACHO MACHO MAN' act. Sam loved him for it.

"I love you sooooooooooooooooooooooooo much Sammy," Dean said, meeting up with Sam, taking his head in his hands. "I love you so much it's cray-cray." Dean almost swore he saw a tear twinkle in those manly, manly, manly, squinty hazel-but-blue/green-on-occassion eyes. It was almost enough to make him cry.

"I know, Dean." He paused, Dean biting his plush, pink, too-feminine-to-be-a-mans lips. "But do you......" The pause was almost killing Dean. Did he what? Did he love the baby camel living next door? Did he love to rub mayonaisse all over his toned, fleshy, taut skin? He could not guess. "Do you.... love love me?"

Dean gasped, his mouth forming an O, mouth opening so wide in shock that it could have become a point of extreme mass. Dean shut his mouth in a frowny face, eye brows scrunching together. "Yes....."

At that Sam crashed their lips together, this shocked Dean.

Incest.

Inces.

Ince.

Inc.

In.

I.

In love.

Dean wanted to kiss his baby bro back, but Sams kiss had broken one of his front teeth. Ouch.

"Ouch." Dean whispered.

"I'm sorry Dean. I love you so much it not only hurts me, but you too." 

"Omg." He replied, spitting out the tooth. "I don't care, Sammy. I love you!!!!11!"

They had a hotty-hotty-smexy-decki-sweaty-make-out-session.

Afterwords they fricklefrackled.

God screamed.

Meteors began to hit the earth. Flames engulfed the world.

Sam and Dean held each other, arms stretching around eachothers body. 

They stared into eachothers eyes, Sams gigantic hand coming up to stroke his plushy-baby-butt-soft cheek. 

"Good bye, my love." Sam said.

"Good bye, my incestuous baby brother." Dean whispered.

Together they burned into two crispy human size bacon bits.

God screamed.


	2. What the fuck is this

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my wee sisters newest piece. it makes me cry.

Dean walked into the motel. Standing there was Sam, all broad shoulders and high cheekbones. His tan skin glistened in the light of the flickering mucky yellow lightbulbs. Here, as he stood on the cheap scratchy motel carpet decorated with obscure swirls and spots, also that mysterious white stain that no one liked to talk about, he looked beautiful.  Mostly.  

 

He gasped when he turned to Dean, eyes wide and shiny.  Oh.  Ew.

 

_Pink eye._

 

“Dean, no…” Sam said, lips curved in a deep, deep, deep frown.  Like, wow.  Dean didn’t think it was physically possible to frown like that.  He was disturbed.

 

“It’s okay Sam, I dont mind the um….guck.”

 

Sam blinked, with one eye.  It wasn’t sexy, but hot DAMN did it turn Dean on.

 

Dean looked down.  Something happened.  He didn’t understand.

 

“Sam, what’s happening?”

 

“Dean, that’s called a boner.” Sam said.

 

“What’s a boner?”

 

“Dean.  Dean, no.”

 

“NO tell me.” Dean yelled.

 

“Okay, when men get excited things happen.” Sam explained.

 

Dean peeked into his pants. He screamed.

 

“SAM. SAM, WHAT THE FUCK IS IN MY PANTS.” Dean screamed.

 

“Dean, it’s your penis.”

 

“WOW what does it do.”

 

“Dean.”

 

“Sam.”

 

“DEAN.” Sam said, frowning deeper.  He walked to the window, opening it.  He jumped.  

 

Dean ran to the window, looking down.  Sammy was a pancake.

 

“Now I’ll never know…” A single tear fell from Deans eye.


End file.
